Saturday, October 3, 2015

My Family has been anywhere but in the same place the last two years. Here's a recap to make your brain hurt.

October 2013 my twin sister and I left on missions
December 2013 my brother and sister in law graduated from university and moved across the country
April 2014 we welcomed the first nephew into the family
May 2014 my other brother left on a mission 

Fastforward to September 2015:
my sister and I are attending universities in different states
my brother and sister in law now have 2 boys
my brother is still on his mission
my parents are running the ranch back home

To say we are scattered around the world is pretty accurate. This past summer I was able to visit my brother and his family. While there I made an interesting connection. Before I share the connection we need to back up for a second. Have you ever heard of unspoken family rules? The actions of your family that go unspoken, yet y'all know what is going on. An example in my family is this: my mom does the grocery shopping. My dad trusts my mom's judgement, and he doesn't want anything to do with going into a grocery store. The prices stress him out! It's an unspoken rule in my family. If someone were to ask my dad to buy the groceries for a week all us kids would laugh out loud. It just wouldn't happen. Another unspoken rule in my family is this: my dad proposes his opinion on a decision to be made and my mom readily agrees. They are a good team, my dad inquires of my mom before a decision is made, my mom states her opinion, and readily agrees and supports my dad's judgement. That's how it's always been. Dinner conversations usually involve my dad explaining the next decision on the ranch and my mom smiles, gives her opinion, and readily agrees.

Now here's the connection I made while visiting my brother and sister in law. They have the same unspoken rule. My brother will explain a decision that needs to be made, his wife states her opinion and readily agrees to his decision. It's like rewinding my parents to newlyweds. It's almost scary how similar it is. I learned something from this. Unspoken family rules effect generations. This makes them extremely important. 



In making this realization I've pondered the rules in my family I want to carry over into my future family.

photo sources: left and right 




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