A Love Like John and Mary

In A Parent's Guide, we learn this invaluable truth: 

"Our mortal test is to learn to choose the lives and roles that lead to eternal families and exaltation."

To me, this quotation sums the entirety of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that as I turn to Christ, I am able to learn and choose the path He desires for me. 

 I recently came across a book by President Spencer W. Kimball that I love. It's called Faith Precedes the Miracle. One part in particular describes President Kimball interviewing a couple, John and Mary, the day before their wedding. I love the advice that he gave this young couple. I realize that it was written in 1975, and some might view the advice as outdated and old fashioned, but I consider it to be just as valid today as it was then. President Kimball  gave the following counsel to John and Mary. 

"Now, Mary and John, there is an indispensable element in this happiness you desire. There must be fidelity and confidence. John, you have had a legitimate and proper opportunity these past years to look the world over for a wife, to date numerous girls, and to compare and contrast them with one another, weighing their virtues and attractions, and finally, of them all you have selected Mary as the one with whom you wish to be associated forever, the one who reaches such heights of perfection in your eyes that she is worthy not only to be your helpmeet but also the mother of your posterity. You have built for Mary a pedestal, and placing her on it, will never permit any other ever to share the place with her. She is your queen, your counterpart, your love throughout the eternities.

And you, Mary, have had the same privilege of comparing all the boys who came to see you, and you have selected John as the finest specimen of young manhood, the most desirable companion, to be your husband and the father of your children; and now, having made your choice, this is final. You have built a pedestal on which you have placed John, and no one may ever share that place with him. Never again will you look upon any man as you have John, for he is now your mate and sweetheart and husband for eternities.

Henceforth, your eyes will never wander; your thoughts will never stray; in a very literal way you will keep yourselves for each other only, in mind and body and spirit. You will remember that the Lord Jesus Christ said:

“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (Matt. 5:27–28.)

And, it can be paraphrased also to say, “… she that looketh upon a man to lust after him hath committed adultery already with him in her heart.” And I want to say to you, also, that flirting by married people, even though they think it innocent and limited, is a serious sin and is the approach toward eventual downfall. A very large share of all divorces have their origin in infidelity of one or both parties, so you can see how important it is to heed this warning and strictly avoid even the appearance of or approach toward evil.

Now, John and Mary, being human, you may some day have differences of opinion resulting even in little quarrels. Neither of you will be so unfaithful to the other as to go back to your parents or friends and discuss with them your little differences. That would be gross disloyalty. Your intimate life is your own and must not be shared with or confided in others."

President Kimball's council summarizes the class discussion we had on the topic of marriage intimacy and fidelity. I've had several thoughts come to me from the discussion, I will share two.

First.

We must be very careful not to talk about marital disagreements or conflicts outside of

marriage, whether it be with family or friends. I know there are exceptions to this, such as spousal abuse. However for minor disagreements or challenges it's important to keep them between husband and wife. To always complain to a friend about your spouse's flaws diminishes trust and confidence in each other. Also once the conflict is resolved, it wont be resolved with the family member or friend, they will forever remember that "John looked up his old girlfriend on facebook."

Second.

Infidelity starts with a single thought. I've often thought of infidelity as cheating, or being addicted to pornography. This week I was able to learn that one can be unfaithful simply by the movies they watch, the books they read, or the music they listen to. In thinking of this, I've done a bit of introspection. Though I am not yet married, I want to eliminate actions and thoughts from my conduct now that will enable me to be faithful to my future spouse in thought, word, and deed. I've contemplated habits that I need to change. For starters: 

Why am I listening to music that promotes infidelity? These songs should be deleted from my playlist. Why should I be listening to such garbage? 

Why do I spend time on pinterest pinning countless pictures of attractive men? This is something I need to change. I am not proud of it. 

I want to avoid the common college girl talk about guys. That's a hard one because being a college student, I'm around it all the time. I want to move to a higher plane of thought on the subject. 

These are just a few habits I've desired to change after the knowledge I was able to learn this week. Each week I have an increased gratitude for the opportunity I have to learn about family relationships. I know that the knowledge I am learning is enabling me to intentionally choose a life that will lead to an eternal family and exaltation. 

"Our mortal test is to learn to choose the lives and roles that lead to eternal families and exaltation."